you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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