You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
