We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
