This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
