I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
