doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
