He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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