Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
