Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
