We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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