if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
