you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You're like the curious george of whores
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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