so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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