WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
