So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
