I'm really into asian looking animals
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
