I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
