and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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