Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
