I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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