so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
