he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
