office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize