In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize