I cannot find my penis.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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