thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
