Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you never un-have a 4some
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
