you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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