apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
