Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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