i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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