She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
