the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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