Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
