She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
