How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
That's how pantless uber rides happen
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
