i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
