VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
