I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
