I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Two words: blizzard sex
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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