I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
