think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
