nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
