Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize