So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
