What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
