Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
