Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
