You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
