The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
