At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize