that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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