Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
