i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
