that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
