um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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