dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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