I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
