careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
