I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
