Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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