I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize