Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
