Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
