Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
