Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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