I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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