ya dads aren't the best wingmen
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
