FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Randomize
