HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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