I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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