i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
