hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
