if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
