So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
