Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
