i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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