Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
